I have always been a bit of a movie geek, and without a doubt I go weak at the knees for a good romance. As a teenager nothing could be more romantic than 'True Romance', clearly killing your girlfriend's pimp is where it's all at, or maybe Braveheart, what doesn't scream romance like going on a bloodthirsty vengeful killing spree after finding your wife with her throat slit. These days I'm a lot more soft, and any bad Rom Com seems to do it. With Valentines Day just around the corner my Netflix is full of 'helpful' romantic suggestions. I convinced my husband to watch 'Austenland' with me, and found myself 'awwwing' by the end. Said husband simply curled his lip, 'You enjoyed that? It was shocking!' The film, ok, yes not great, but I spent the rest of the evening defending my hopeless romantic gene. Eventually, as my husband fell asleep, he remarked, 'I'm sorry, I'm probably not romantic enough for you.'
I lay awake for some time after that, and thought about his comment. It is true, in the 15 years we have been together I can probably count all the bunches of flowers he has bought me on one hand. I even think most of those have come in more recent years, when my daughters have insisted on buying mummy flowers when stopping at a petrol station, or while popping to a shop. I rarely receive a valentines gift or card, have never found a 'just because' present on my pillow (seriously though has ANYONE?), he even left me hanging for 4 MONTHS after I told him I loved him before he reciprocated! Think what that does to a teenager's confidence! But, it occurred to me... so many of his daily actions scream to me these days so much more than empty romantic gestures ever could.
- When he rescues me on a Saturday morning, having been up since five, takes the toddler from me and tells me to get some more rest. Seriously, my knight in shining armour.
- When I find the fridge packed with Green and Blacks Dark chocolate after I have had 'one of those days'.
- Telling me how beautiful I am despite the fact I am pretty much always in my onesie by the time he gets home from work.
- Working super long hours so I can work from home and be there for the kids, he never complains, just gets on with it.
- Taking an active roll in being a parent, a proper one, like cleaning up poo, and vomit with only minimal gagging.
- When cleaning up blood is concerned he does get a little faint, but will still cuddle the victim despite the inability to stand while mummy cleans it up.
- Never holding biting a large chunk out of his hand whilst in labour against me.
- Uttering words like, 'shall I pick up a takeaway' when I am too exhausted to cook.
- When I am downstairs and I can hear him roll playing 'Barbies' or 'Unicorn Princesses' over the baby monitor, just wow.
- Bringing me breakfast, albeit a slice of toast, while I am madly trying to get ready for the school run because he knows if he doesn't I probably won't get round to eating until lunch.
- Eating just as much as I did during pregnancy so I didn't feel like a pig, even if it meant he is still trying to lose the excess weight two years later.
- I don't even need to ask for the bottle of wine he picks up on a Friday night. He just knows...
You can keep your flowers, the Valentines cards and badly written poems. He doesn't know it but by just being a kind husband and a good father I will weak at the knees most days. Those gestures there, now THAT is TRUE romance.