Diary of a Threenager: Trick or Treat

‘Don’t talk to strangers, don’t approach strangers and NEVER take sweets from a stranger’. They drum these words into me almost daily and yet here we are. Apparently today is Halloween, I don’t actually know what Halloween is but suddenly I am allowed to go and knock on random people’s doors and demand sweets. ‘Only the people that have pumpkins, they want to give you sweets’ I’m pretty sure the strangers in the street who offer me sweets WANT to give me them… and yet then I am not allowed to take them… weird.

So, before we headed out into the cold and dark, demanding sweets from neighbours I have never spoken to in my life, I had to first dress up. Mummy was telling me I had to be scary, S had put on some hideous werewolf mask that made her the ugliest creature on earth, why on earth would I want to look THAT ugly. There was only one choice obviously, I wanted to be Elsa. ‘But Elsa isn’t scary’ S insisted. I gave her my ‘I can be scary if you want me to be look’ and Mummy told me to be kind… yet a second ago I was meant to be scary… all the contradictions… Halloween is so confusing…

Confusing it may be, but I did get into the swing of things… what’s not to love, banging on people’s doors, smiling sweetly and then they fill my bucket with more sweets than I have ever seen in my entire life. Mummy is an advocate of the ‘no sugar’ act, so part way around the village I started shoving the sweets into my pockets and down the front of my Elsa dress, so she wouldn't take them away from me. Problem was, then I couldn’t get to them very easily to eat them. I started demanding we go home. S and her friend claimed not to be ready but the whole evening felt a little too good to be true and so I wanted to get as much sugar eating in as possible before I woke up to find it was all just a marvellous dream.

Finally, we made it back home, Mummy said we could choose one sweet from our buckets before bedtime, I did that, calmly and responsibly. Mummy complimented me, she stroked my cheek and thanked me for being ‘such a good girl’ I smiled and then made my way upstairs with the big girls where I hid myself under the piano stool and emptied my pockets, then proceeded to munch a year’s worth of sugar in five minutes.

Mummy said it was bedtime then. I didn’t believe her, how could it be bedtime, I wasn’t tired in the least bit. Mummy put me in my bed and read me ‘Alfie’ books for a while, but people kept knocking on the door demanding sweets from us. every time she went downstairs we would play this little game together where I hid somewhere and then mummy couldn't find me. I was pretty good, Mummy got really cross, I think it’s because she is such a bad loser.

Of course, I’m still awake now, an hour later, singing loudly so S can hear me down the hall, I thought it would be nice for her to go to sleep listening to the sound of my beautiful voice. Ohh wait, I’ve just had a thought... Halloween is over…

‘MUMMY IS IT CHRISTMAS TOMORROW?’