I have to hand it to her, I never knew my sister could be so... cunning. I mean, she can throw a strop, can't we all (Daddy says we get that from our Auntie), but to BREAK A LEG!? Why didn't I think of that? She was meant to go on some play date, but I think she liked the sound of lunch with Grandma instead so decided to injure herself in her trampoline class to wriggle out of it. I can't blame her. Lunch with Grandma is always so good, she lets us have as much ice cream as we want. I like to eat mine whilst staring at Mummy, she smiles but I can see her teeth grinding at the thought of how much sugar AND dairy I am getting in a single hit. I once heard Mummy say to Daddy that 'we will regret that later', I'm not sure what she meant. We were supposed to be going to the rabbit pub, my favourite, but S went one step too far and bust the leg instead. She ruined everything. There was no lunch, instead Grandma left, and I had to sit in the car outside A and E for about four hours. I wasn't even allowed to go in and smile sweetly at the doctors. I hoped Dr Ranj would be there. I love him, he is my boyfriend. Anyway, Mummy said to Daddy to keep me entertained outside as I might catch something if I went in and they had enough on their plate without that, so selfish.
The car was boring. I did some pretend driving and I beeped the horn a lot but then Daddy got all stressed with me and made me watch Cbeebies on his phone. Dull. At last mummy phoned and told us to go to the shop and get some treats. I wanted ice cream, but Daddy told me it wasn't my turn to choose and we had to get whatever S wanted because SHE broke her leg. That's when I realised how clever she had been. We had go with doughnuts, which would have been okay if we had bought the pink packet, but S doesn't like pink.
Then we went back to the hospital and S came out with her leg covered in this white stuff, she looked like one of those Halloween mummies. She was all huffing and sighing. Mummy gave up her seat in the front, so S got to be on the front seat like a grown up!!! I told them it wasn't fair, I didn't think they could hear me, so I REALLY shouted it. Mummy was doing that thing when she rubs her head, I'm pretty sure she does that when she can't hear so I screamed even louder. At last she told daddy to stop the car. She got out and then came back with pizza, it wasn't as good as sitting in the front seat, so I continued to let them know how unhappy it made me until I think I fell asleep.
This sucks. I'm not allowed to do anything. 'Don't kick the balloon near your sister' 'don't jump on the bed you might land on your sister' 'don't breathe it might hit your sister.' People keep phoning to talk to her. No one wants to phone me. We had to get up super early to go back to the hospital again. Mummy and Daddy were in bad moods because they were up all night with S. How was that my fault? Yes, I was up early anyway but the trip to the hospital meant I didn't get my third breakfast. What is the point in Sundays if I can't have my third breakfast? No nursery AND no third breakfast. Worst. Day. Ever.
At least I was allowed in this time. I made friends with this dark-haired girl who kept coughing all over me. I was nice to her and gave her lots of pats on the back and even shared my water with her. I'm sure it made Mummy happy.
The phone calls were bad enough but today I got back from nursery and S was surrounded by presents!!! I thought it was my birthday and I must have forgotten but they were all for her. I stole one and ran off with it, I knew she couldn't run after me. Not so clever now are you.
Today loads of people kept coming to visit. Every five minutes there was someone leaning over the front gate with flowers or comics or colouring books. Then loads of friends from big school showed up. I wanted to take them all to my room to show them my ponies, but we had to sit in the living room in a big circle around S. I wasn't even allowed to eat all the biscuits to myself. I did try though. I managed to hide some in my pants so no one else wanted to eat them. The postman bought even more presents today. Maybe I should break my leg.
Today is ballet day. But I wasn't allowed to go to ballet because Mummy couldn't 'leave S alone'. This made me cross. I went upstairs and hid in my room a while but then I got bored so decided to put on every dress I owned. It made me look like I had a really big bottom like those ugly ladies in Cinderella. Then I needed a wee, but I forgot I had so many dresses on and only lifted one so my wee went on about 40 dresses, so I had to put them all in the laundry basket. This made Mummy really cross, she was going on and on and on about how much she had to do already, but I told her if I put the wee in my cupboard it would ruin my onesie.
I was even more bored so decided to have a go at breaking my own leg. I stood at the top of the stairs and did my very best roly poly all the way down. Mummy screamed but I wasn't actually hurt. I guess my roly polys are too good to break my leg. When she had checked my head a lot (why mummy I was trying to break my leg not my head?) she sat on the bottom step and cried a lot. She looked all funny afterwards with black stuff all over her face. I wanted black stuff on my face too.
The BEST present arrived for S today, it was a fluffy unicorn. Except when you opened the box there wasn't actually a fluffy unicorn at all just all this long colourful string. Mummy said it was a knit your own unicorn. I tried to do some knitting when Mummy took S to the loo. I loved the string it went really really long and I could wind it around all the chairs and tables like a spider’s web. The sticks were fun for poking the dog with too. Still nothing looks like a unicorn yet.
We went back to the hospital today, so S could have another of those thingies put on her leg. We were there ages again. S went into this room and was told she could have any colour she wanted on her leg! I wanted pink on my leg, it wasn't fair, why could S choose a colour and I couldn't and why did she choose purple? Purple is rubbish. Everyone knows purple is rubbish. Pink is the best colour in the world. When I grow up I will have a pink bed and a pink room and a pink horse and pink hair.
I started to cry when the ladies told me I couldn't have a pink leg. What do they know anyway? Daddy had to take me back to the car and said it was time to go to nursery. I like nursery, but I wanted a pink leg more, so I screamed all the way there and got so hot from screaming I got all these itchy bumps all over my body. Daddy had to stop the car then and get me some medicine that tasted like cheddar cheese and stinky socks.
Tomorrow I will have another go at breaking my leg then the will HAVE to give me a pink leg.