You’re a Dad Now...

She tells you to F-Off, 

She even bites your thumb, 

You try to move away, 

But then you see her bum. 

There’s a head half way out, 

Your  head takes a spin, 

Have the urge to puke up lunch, 

But ‘one more push’ you grin. 

 

You’re a dad now, and that’s what dads do.  

 

There’s sick down your shoulder, 

Poo up your front, 

’Just a simple nappy change’ 

Turns into a Mike Tyson fight. 

He pisses with his diaper off, 

Who knew it could go so far?  

Wee on the lampshade, 

And then he goes to fart... 

 

But you’re a dad now, and that’s what dads do. 

 

Working late, it’s not your fault, 

You collapse through the front door, 

Face to face with World War Three, 

The wife has had enough. 

You are passed the baby, 

When you long for an ice cold beer. 

But you smile, and coo, and calm the crowd, 

And prevent the breakdown, so near.  

 

You’re a dad now, and that’s what dads do. 

 

Tears when the part of ‘Mary’, 

Goes to the kid next door, 

It’s an odd choice you admit, 

But tell her the sheeps the best part. 

Rarely miss a show, 

Kids parties replace the pub, 

Can’t get a sitter when the game’s on. 

Have to watch it on your phone. 

 

You’re a dad now, and that’s what dads do. 

 

Over the years, more tears will come,

And the odd ‘I hate you’ too, 

Still you do the pub taxi run, 

When they’re passed out in the loo. 

Girlfriends will cause heartbreaks,

Your daughter’s might cause them too. 

Then there are the boys sneaking in, 

When the girls have been sent to their rooms.  

 

Still you’re a dad now, and that’s what dads do. 

 

All too soon it’s their wedding day, 

And you wonder where it went, 

As you polish your smart black shoes, 

Ready to give them away.  

You’ll remember their bedtime stories, 

The cuddles you gave them at night, 

Longing to do it again, 

Hoping you did it all right.  

 

Because you’re a dad now, and that’s what dads do...