Diary of a Threenager: The Panto

Diary of a Threenager: The Panto

Grandpa came to visit us after Christmas. I love it when the family come and visit AFTER Santa has been, it seems they always feel obligated to bring more presents, though to be honest, I am pretty certain we did need more. I mean I was only opening mine for a couple of hours, not long enough if you ask me, I can’t have had as many presents this year. Grandpa handed over a little envelope with tickets for the Panto in. I love the Panto. OK, so last time we went I did get a little scared. There was this lady called Belladonna Bindweed. She was quite an angry lady, but I still really enjoyed it. Anyway, we are off to see the new panto, Aladdin, this afternoon, I really can’t wait.

We are here, it’s so exciting, there are people everywhere, and snacks. Mummy and Daddy let us buy popcorn. I really wanted sweets, but then Mummy said that there is ice cream at break time and if I don’t have sweets, I can have that instead. I don’t see why I can’t have both. When we went to find our seats the lady checking tickets said,

‘Oh… popcorn… my favourite… for cleaning up! Just make sure if you drop any you don’t stand on it, it’s a nightmare to get out of the carpet.’

Mummy and Daddy gave each other that look, the look they usually reserve for me when I have said something they don’t approve of. I decided then for good measure I would drop a large handful and step on it especially for her.

We are really high up here, sitting on the balcony. The railing is low down, so I can hang right over the edge. It’s loads of fun, I can see all the people below me. Mummy is hanging onto my arm constantly, it’s annoying. She keeps telling me to sit down, but I have seen my teacher down there and want to share my popcorn with him… if I throw little pieces it may just reach him.

The lights are going down now, this is fun, I am so excited. There is a screen with a camel on it, he is walking around town, how funny, oh hang on, argh, a scary man just ran into the theatre… I’m scared… I want to leave now…

Mummy told me to sit down and everything will be ok. I’m sitting on her knee, if I hold on really tightly to her, she can protect me. My arms are around her neck, though I have to say, she is turning quite blue, maybe she is scared too. I keep telling her I am scared, and I want to leave, she is collecting her coat and saying she will take me to the bar if I am really that scared. But wait, what’s that… oh a really pretty lady just came onto the stage. I might stay a bit longer, she is a princess, I really like her clothes, they are all shiny. OK I’m staying.

Oh, wait the scary man is back, no I’m going….

Princess again, I’ll stay.

Scary man, I’m off.

Oh, wait now there is a genie, she is even better!!! She is all silvery… I like her best. I am definitely staying.

No, going,

No staying.

It’s break time!!! Hurrah! Ice cream time! Daddy goes and stands in a long line to get my ice cream. I’m going to shout at my teacher a bit more!!!! At last he sees me, if I wave madly for the next five minutes at him, I can see how many of the people around me I can knock out… hmm, only three or four, a bit disappointing. Mummy is doing her best to be nice to me, I can tell, she does that when it’s a special day out, smiles and all that but she looks like she is getting a black eye and her palms are all clammy now, I can feel them through my shirt, yuk.

Daddy is signalling at me that there is no strawberry ice-cream left. Mummy asks me if I would like chocolate, but vanilla is my next favourite, so I shout that at Daddy, have to say he is a bit slow on the uptake…

‘Banillia, Daddy, I want Banillia!!!’

Not sure what he doesn’t understand.

Oh, it’s on again. Oh god and the scary man is back again. I think I’m going to leave… Mummy I don’t like it, take me away! Oh, princess, no I will stay. Genie, definitely staying. Bad man…. Noooooo.

Mummy has ice-cream all over her lap. Whoops. But she can only blame herself if she brings me to the scariest pantomime ever.

They have us standing up dancing now…oh and singing! Daddy looks so hacked off that he has to sing in public. Mummy is telling him to get into the spirit of things. Bet he wishes he bought a cider instead of an orange juice!

Scary man!!! I’m going! Argh! Mummy please, I don’t like him, please take me out, I really don’t want to be here anymore! Oh wait, hang on…. Oh look, the genie turned him good…. Hurrah! Well done genie!!!!

Is that it? it’s over already? Well that wasn’t very long That was the BEST THING EVER!!!! Can we come again tomorrow????