The rise (and fall) of Cbeebies

Oh Cbeebies. How I loathed the idea of you. Heavily pregnant and opinionated, ‘I won’t be sticking my baby in front of the T.V.’ The very thought of it appalled me. I would have fun, organised activities to keep her entertained always. Who needs screen time? Me. I did. Several weeks in and dangerously sleep deprived, I succumbed; anything for a moment’s peace. Well, almost anything… Mr Tumble, what in Holy Hell?? I stared at the screen and felt my lip curl in disgust while mini S flapped her arms in excitement… ‘Sorry sweetheart, just no, I’m not THAT tired….’

But I came back, inadvertently flicking through channels, I found myself pausing for longer, absorbing your colours, your noise, not oblivious to the tot’s face light up, her fussing quelled. By toddlerdom we were friends. You helped me through sticky situations, allowed me moments of sanity, where I could wash up, fold laundry, just… sit, without be constantly harassed. You are not supposed to have favourites, I know that, but I did. Chris and Pui, pure innocent fun. Charlie and Lola, even I would get excited when that theme tune rang through the house.

We had fun together, even I can admit that. Raving to ‘Stick, sticky, stickety stick,’ on New Year’s was a highlight and let’s face it, Christmas just wouldn’t be the same without you. Your love of pantos, and the pure joy they bought over the years. Of course, I had to be strict with you, you really were rather needy. Constantly wanting to be turned on, nobody should want it THAT much. We had to restrict your wants… but we got there, eventually. Despite everything, at some point, things turned sour. Perhaps it is my fault, perhaps I relied on you just too heavily. I realise I asked a lot of you. Entertaining my kids so I could cook, anger when one grew up and no longer wanted you, when the other so desperately did… you just couldn’t satisfy our needs.

I clung onto you, I refused to believe that it was over, after so long. How could it just end like that? Without a parting word? But then you just pushed it too far… I mean… removing Dr Ranj from the pre-lunch line up? Well really? How am I supposed to get little O ready for nursery without the DR Ranj bribery? Dear Cbeebies, I’m cutting you off, this is my final goodbye. Thank you for everything, but it’s time we moved on….


(until tomorrow at least)